Saturday, 15 July 2017

Quick - hide the porn

BEHOLD MY DESK! It has never before looked this tidy!

It took a week to clear down to visible desk-top, let me tell you

Because we're selling the house and the guy is turning up to take photos for Rightmove first thing on Monday morning (*muffled Ashbless sobs*) , I have been doing a WHOLE lot of tidying up. Mostly it has involved hiding shit in the loft, and throwing out computer games we have never played and can't even run on the PC now. In fact I was advised by a Facebook friend to hide "anything that might be off-putting - really stupid stuff like a candle with a pentacle on it, books with "offensive" covers (specifically erotica), even a scruffy dog bed".

Since 90% of our household goods consists of weird shit/books, erotica and dog-beds, this may not be possible...


 But we did chisel the Green Man off from next to the front door...



I just can't do anything about the 6ft god in the back garden!


And the Hammer Horror Library is a lost cause, dudes...



 I think our marketing strategy has to be "semi-detached house, would suit weirdos", lol

 

4 comments:

Kate Douglas said...

You have my deepest sympathies...we were lucky enough to sell our last house after we had totally vacated the place, which meant nothing left to move to satisfy potential buyers, or I would have been in the same boat as you! I had a 14x22' office with a 16' vaulted ceiling (top floor of a five level house) and there wasn't a single bit of wall space without a framed book cover or photo--and the bulk of my book covers have naked people on them, mostly men. (But some of those butts are glorious...)

I honestly think that there are buyers who might appreciate the aesthetic, but you have to consider that not all of them will...

Good luck to you!

Kate

Emmanuelle de Maupassant said...

Janine - you have just put the biggest smile on my face.
The statue in the garden is fabulous!

Kryssie Fortune said...

Love your garden ornament. Guess that puts me in the weirdo class too. Good luck with the move

Janine Ashbless said...

Hahah! Thank you, my fellow weirdos! <3 <3 <3