Saturday, 31 December 2016

Happy New Year!

Wishing you all a Happy New Year - may 2017 bring us all peace and hope and success.

Wednesday, 28 December 2016

2016 in the rearview mirror

Okay, no two ways about it - 2016 has been the most crushing, terrifying year on the political front, and to be honest it looks like it can only get worse in 2017. On top of that we've lost so many cultural icons dear to people of my generation that I'm reeling.

This is literally our best hope 

But this post is where, as every year, I frivolously look back on things I've enjoyed in the public domain.
So here goes, and here's hoping we're still here this time next year for another one.

Best Movie:

I watched 24 movies at the cinema this year, which started off well but saw a bit of a slump in the middle, quality-wise. My fave five in retrospect were:

Worst movie of the year? X-Men: Apocalypse, because I expect so much more of the X-Men than that.

Best TV:

A late great entry this year - Westworld - just pips the triumphant Game of Thrones Series 6 for my sofa-glue.

Honourable mention to Yonderland, for all the dick jokes ;-)

Best Music:

Oh dear. I haven't been to any gigs, or listened to any new music this year except for vintage episodes of Top of the Pops. Not sure why, except I've been doing less driving on my own now that Mr Ashbless is working in the UK.

Best Book:

I bought Empire of Death: a cultural history of ossuaries and charnel houses, on a library pilgrimage to Manchester. It is just stunning in both its photography and its textual content. If you are at all interested in this sort of subject, this is the book to buy.

Website of the Year:

Classical Art Memes fills me with guilty joy!

Best online photo:

This is a detail from Sleeping Forest by photographer Péter Bognár. You can see the whole thing here on his website. It fills me with sehnsucht and I could stare at it forever.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening - Robert Frost

We all have miles to go. Best wishes for 2017, everyone.

Monday, 26 December 2016

Hoping Hell freezes over

The Devil Skating when Hell Freezes Over by John Collier (1850-1934)
Well, I failed to post for Xmas this year (too much cooking, sneezing and amaretto liqueur I'm afraid!) but I'm wishing you all a very happy holiday season and hoping for a peaceful 2017 for all, in which the world does not burn.

Well, we can hope...

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

Winter Solstice

Roman Bratkowski: Winter Landscape, 'Emptiness' (1901)
Shortest day of the year; longest night.

If you've made it this far then things will get brighter from now on, I promise ... :-)

Monday, 19 December 2016

Blue Monday: Lily Harlem guests

Every Monday I post a naughty excerpt for your entertainment!

Today's guest is the best-selling
Lily Harlem - take it away, Lily :-)
"Hi Janine, thank you for inviting me to take part in Blue Monday, it’s great to be here. I’ve brought with me a steamy excerpt from X-Rated which is my hot new novella just out from All Romance eBooks. The idea for this story came from a tale I heard about a woman caught masturbating when her boyfriend turned up unexpectedly. Not really the end of the world in her case, luckily, but it made me think about the repercussions that moment could have on a couple who are not connecting in the bedroom. Would it be the straw that broke the camels back, or could it be just the thing to save it?"

On this weekend, Polly and Lucan work the kinks into their relationship.

When Polly is caught in a compromising position with a toy and a hardcore video, she doesn’t think her husband will ever go near her again. She feels twisted, nothing like the sweet wife he married. Little does she know, she’s awakened a monster by prodding Lucan’s sexual beast and making him sit up and take notice.


But what about Lucan’s needs? He’s been so busy at work that things have gotten out of his grip to the point he can’t even remember his fantasies.

During a weekend of passion and turmoil, heat and pleasure, they vow to never drift apart again. Neither can imagine just how far they’ll go to please the other, or how well matched their particular variety of kinks are.

With a flick of a switch she checked the battery. All was good and it seemed the device was as keen to start as she was.

She grabbed a bottle of cocoa butter moisturiser and sat with her legs astride the laptop. She then propped herself back on cushions with her knees bent. It was her preferred way to enjoy the show.

The laptop was waiting to go and she quickly and efficiently scrawled through her growing collection of porn favorites. This morning she’d planned on watching Daisy Does It Outside, but as the day had gone on she’d started to think about Butt Babes. She hadn’t watched it all the way through yet and was keen to see how the female lead took it up the ass.

She drew up the porn movie and clicked start. They were well thought out, these short films. Enough of a build up and introduction of characters for her to rub and play with herself, and get her juices flowing. Then, as the on-screen clothes started to fall off, she took hold of her vibrator and slid the smooth hard end over her clit.

She liked to tease herself, imagine it was a man’s fingers—Lucan’s fingers, flicking then retreating—building up the want and the need. It was so much sexier than a swift well-placed rub that hit the spot but lost its appeal because of its predictability.

“Oh yes, Troy, take me now, just do it,” the blonde bombshell gasped on the screen. “Fuck my ass. Put your big cock in my ass now.” She pulled her butt cheeks apart, showing off her puckered hole.

Polly slid her vibrator into her pussy, its way eased with moisturiser and her arousal. She could barely breathe, barely blink, as it stretched her tight muscles. God, she loved her vibrator.

She panted and curled forward, her attention glued on the screen as her body accepted the vibrator’s length. It felt so good as it invaded her, claimed her.

Damn, how did it feel for the woman in the movie? She was bent over, a large male hand skimming over her right buttock and, just in shot, a huge erect cock primed ready for entry. Her anus was breached by the man’s finger, pushing in knuckle deep.

The woman moaned, so did Polly as she flicked on the rabbit. It whirred and then swirled within her, massaging her intimate flesh. She held the little vibrating ears just out of reach of her clitoris, it wasn’t time for that yet.

She clenched her belly and her legs shook slightly. This was the scene she’d got to last time she’d played, but then the alarm on her iPhone had gone off, telling her it was time to pack up before Lucan came home.

Now, though, she could keep on watching, and watch she did. The smooth domed head of the on-screen cock was now butting up against the woman’s hole. He was still stroking her ass cheeks, though as he pushed in, that first tiny bit, he brought a hard slap down on her right buttock. She bucked forward. He gripped her hips.

Instantly a red handprint bloomed on her pale skin. “I’m gonna fuck your ass now, Cassandra,” the man said with a heavy, husky American accent. “You reckon you can take it?” He paused for a moment, then, “Now keep still, you know you want this.”

“Yes, yes, fuck my ass, fuck it now.”

He eased in some more, his cockhead stretching her ring of muscle.

She cried out. He groaned. The camera zoomed in so every tiny detail was captured for the viewer.

Polly was mesmerised, she was so turned on. God, did she really want that? To be slapped and butt fucked?

She guessed she did.

But right now the need for an orgasm was growing. She’d come once now, to take the edge of it, and then perhaps go online and order a butt plug. Something cock shaped so it would be realistic. She could take another day off to wait in and…

She bit on her bottom lip. The little rabbit ears were wicked and doing their job.

As the big on-screen cock set on a slow plunge into the porn star’s ass, Polly allowed her orgasm to build. It was so satisfying to know that she’d definitely come. That it wouldn’t be an unfulfilled promise. An event that never materialised. When she was in control, when she held the tools, she’d come as fast or slow, as hard or as softly as she wanted.

And right now she wanted it hard. Just like the woman on screen was getting it.

The cock had gone from view, her hole stretched around the girth. She was groaning as if she’d been transported to heaven.

Polly pulled the vibrator almost out then plunged it back in. Setting up the same fast rhythm as the man was, imagining his cock was inside her, fucking her, making her come. He wasn’t the sort to hide under the duvet, find one position and stick to it for life. This guy was a go-getter. A well-hung man of pleasure.

“Oh yes, yes…” Polly gasped. She was coming, it was there. A fountain of bliss waiting to overspill. The soft squelching sounds of the vibrator working her pussy filtered up to her ears. They mixed with the heavy masculine moans coming from her laptop.

The man struck the woman again, further pinking her buttocks.

Polly curled her toes, held her breath, and slammed the vibrator in and out of her pussy. Taking it much harder than Lucan would ever give it to her, much deeper too, and with an animalistic need for satisfaction.

She felt wanton, alive, like a woman in the prime of her sexual life.

She came—it was fast and furious and sent shockwaves through her pussy and to all of the nerve endings around her body. She stared at the screen, at the close up of the woman fingering her pussy as her ass was fucked. It was so sexy, so hot, so utterly spellbinding. Fantasies and longings rolled through Polly’s mind. She wanted to be that actress. To be taken like that, fucked and spanked.

On and on she came, extending her bliss until the spasms began to fade.

She blew out a breath, feeling dizzy, and allowed her legs to flop open, the vibrator lodged high and still buzzing.

Fumbling, she switched it off, then shut the laptop. She’d need a few minutes to recover, that had been intense. Everything she’d hoped it would be.


A lump of lead landed in her belly.

That one word.

That voice.


She looked up, and managed to focus on the doorway.

Lucan stood there, blue tie clenched in his hand, top button of his white shirt undone. He was staring at her with wide eyes and his mouth hung slack.

He didn’t move.

Neither did she.

Buy X-Rated here

Lily Harlem lives in the UK and is an award winning, bestselling author of erotic romance. After giving up a busy career in nursing she now spends her time enjoying her rescued pets and penning steamy stories. She writes for publishers on both sides of the Atlantic including, HarperCollins, Totally Bound, Pride, Evernight, All Romance eBooks and Stormy Night Publications. She also self-publishes novels that range from emotionally charged erotic romance, to steamy ménage a trois.

One thing you can be sure of, whatever book you pick up by Ms Harlem, in whichever pairing or genre, is it will be wildly romantic and down-and-dirty sexy so make sure you hang on tight for the ride! Subscribe to her newsletter to get a FREE ebook.

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Friday, 16 December 2016

The yummy taste of cock

I thought I'd try something new and different...

Cock soup is, in fact, vegetarian!

And yummy!

Wednesday, 14 December 2016


Semiramis by Eliseo Tuderte Fattorini (1830-1887)

Have you heard of the legendary warrior queen Semiramis? No?
She used to be a very rich subject for artists, but she's sort of vanished from popular culture now.
Pierre Bellet: Semiramida (1892)

Demetre Chiparus (1886-1947): Semiramis

She's based on the historical figure of Shammuramat, who ruled the Assyrian Empire as regent for her son, in the 9th century BCE.

Semiramis depicted in De Claris Mulieribus (15th Century)

However, Semiramis the mythical/artistic figure is larger than life in every way! There are many (conflicting) legends about her; she was the daughter of the water-goddess Atargatis, was abandoned at birth and fed by doves until adopted by a shepherd (in standard heroic style).

Semiramis by Cesare Saccaggi (1868-1934)
As an adult she married a nobleman called Omnes, but conducted herself during a siege so impressively that the Assyrian King Ninus demanded her for himself. Omnes committed suicide, and Semiramis entered the royal harem - somewhat resentfully, the evidence suggests. When she bore a son, Ninias, Ninus offered her any boon and she said "Make me the ruler of the empire for one day." He foolishly agreed - whereupon she ordered the guards to kill him, and seized power in the name of her son.

So Semiramis became de-facto ruler of the Assyrian Empire, which is about as big a game of thrones as you can win. She rebuilt Babylon and created the famous Hanging Gardens.

Degas: Semiramis building Babylon (1861)
 She was no hands-off ruler either; she was famous for leading her troops in battle, whether putting down rebellions or conquering new territories such as Libya, Africa and India. The most common depiction of her in art is when she receives the Call to War in the middle of her morning toilette: she seizes her sword, drops the crown and vows not to do up her hair until she is victorious.

Semiramis Called to War (1637) by Jacques Stella

Semiramis accumulated a lot of scurrulous legends too, because powerful women are inevitably objects of discomfort and gossip. She is said to have invented the practice of castrating boys to make eunuch slaves. She is said to have taken a new lover every night and had them executed in the morning to make sure they didn't get ambitious.

She is said to have had incestuous relations with her son, the prince Ninius!

She got the hots for an Armenian king called Arar the Beautiful, and demanded that he shag her. When he refused, she went to war. He died on the battlefield and she had his body brought back to her palace for ... private contemplation. Then she told his people that the gods had brought him back to life, so no hard feelings, right?

Semiramis staring at the corpse of Ara the Beautiful, Vardges Sureniants 1860-1921

She lived to a ripe old age and never lost a battle, but upon returning from conquering the armies of the Indus (her cunning tactics having included fake elephants), she was murdered by her own son, the only man she thought she could trust ... because children are ungrateful shits.

Augusto Valli: Semiramis dying on Nino's tomb (1893)
Semiramis is mentioned in Shakespeare, in Dante's Inferno (circle of Lust, naturally), and is the subject of a play by Voltaire and several operas, including one by Rossini.

Semiramide, Act 1
And she's been the subject of some torrid movies!

Oh ... she may still be with us. It upsets some among the paranoid religious right that Lady Liberty is officially based on depictions of Semiramis.

Go Semiramis!

Monday, 12 December 2016

Blue Monday

Every Monday I post a wicked excerpt for your entertainment!

Today's excerpt is from my BDSM short Teppanyaki, which appeared in Anything for You: erotica for kinky couples:

Wendy and Ade are hosting a dinner party for some new friends...

As I lead the way back into the dining room, my heart lifts with pride at the picture presented. Wendy has ceased fighting the cuffs and is sat up very straight with her feet tucked beneath the chair, trying to look as demure as it's possible to do with wrists tied. Her face is averted self-consciously, her lips parted and shiny.
“Maria, Jason, this is Wendy. She's feeling a bit shy at the moment, I'm afraid. Wendy, say hello.”
“Hello,” she whispers. “How lovely to meet you.”
I know how difficult she must be finding this. How impossible it must be for her, in that hot swamp of her embarrassment, to find the right social chit-chat. So I make things easy for her: “Wendy, you're to be silent now. Open your legs.”
She eases her thighs apart. I could explode with pride. Jason is standing with his hands in his pockets, a big grin plastered all over his face. Maria goes forward and stoops, kissing her on the cheek.
“What a lovely outfit, Wendy,” she murmurs. “Ade has told us so much about you.”
I take our guests through to the kitchen to pour the first drinks and open the rice steamer and explain how teppanyaki works, but only one tiny part of my mind is on the small-talk or the cooking. My hard-on is verging on the distressing. This is the first time I've allowed anyone else to admire Wendy so intimately and my physical reaction surprises even me.
We return to the dining table; Maria insists on helping me carry the food through. Before dinner begins I push Wendy's skirt up her thighs to reveal the plump lace-covered mound of her sex, and hook a finger under her panty elastic. The kitchen scissors shear through the fabric without effort, and I drop the ruined underwear beneath the table. Her pussy is, of course, perfectly shaven—anything less would be too untidy for Wendy—and as I pat it softly she twists and whimpers. I hear Jason chuckle and make some remark to his wife in a low voice.
Hooking a foot round the leg of Wendy's chair, I drag it closer to the table so she is within reach as I sit.
Dinner begins. Teppanyaki is a sociable, interactive way to eat. Lumps are plucked from the block of butter and dropped on the hot griddle, slicking the black metal plate. Then food is laid on with chopsticks to cook as we wait, each piece needing only a few minutes to fry, and replaced as soon as it's plucked by fresh morsels: steak slices and tuna and chicken, asparagus spears and mushrooms, crisp mange-tout pea-pods and—defying tradition—white strips of halloumi cheese that brown without melting. The smell of hot butter and griddled meat is enticing. We dip the cooked food in tiny individual bowls of soya sauce stirred with hot green wasabi paste, and my lips tingle. We talk, inconsequentially, ignoring Wendy and her predicament but each of us glancing at her often.
Of course Wendy can't feed herself. She is dependent on me to cook her food for her and offer it to her lips with my chopsticks. She seems a little reluctant to eat, preoccupied with her own woe, but she takes each piece obediently. It's not easy to be neat either. The first time a drop of melted butter falls from an pea pod onto the white lawn of her dress, Maria pipes up; “Oh—you don't want to get oil on that, Ade. It'll never come out!”
I nod, standing, and go over behind Wendy. She realises what I'm doing and the cuffs rattle as she jerks her arms, trying to stop me before she remembers that she has no chance. Shock dances in her eyes. “Please!” she squeals as I start on the little buttons over her jiggling breasts.
I grip her jaw, pulling her head back. She stares up in terror, her hazel eyes so dilated that they’re almost black. “What did I tell you, Wendy? You're to be quiet.” And, magically, she goes still in my grasp, trembling a little but no longer fighting me. I undo her blouse buttons without any fuss, revealing a magenta bra that matches the panties I've already destroyed and the creamy slopes of her generous cleavage. Scooping her breasts from the lacy cups, I bare her to our guests.
“Wow!” says Jason, a cup of saké frozen halfway to his lips.
“Your wife has beautiful tits,” Maria agrees, awestruck. As she should be. Wendy's breasts are magnificent. I take her nipples between finger and thumb of each hand and pull them out, encouraging the flesh to swell and harden.
“I'm thinking of having them pierced,” I confide, as Wendy moans low in her throat.
“You should,” says Jason. “You thought of having a chain strung between them?”
I smile darkly. I've thought of lots of things. With my open hands I slap her tits to make them bounce, one after the other. Jason shakes his head, grinning, and Maria mimes an “Ow!” and flashes her eyes. But Wendy only quivers.
Back to dinner, and from now on I make sure that the food I offer my wife is well soused in the hot butter. It drips generously upon her tits, dribbling down to grease her erect nipples. It's a little painful, of course, but Wendy is well used to that. She only jerks and moans a little with each splash, and her discipline in the face of suffering makes my blood race. What I really want is to see her self-control—that same self-control I enjoined upon her—crumble. But I get the most response when I take a stem of asparagus, brilliant green and glistening with warm butter, test its heat against my wrist and then inveigle it into the split of her plump sex before plucking it out again and inserting it, piquant with new sauce, into her mouth. Then she writhes with shame.
Despite all my culinary efforts, no one's mind is on the food now. When I follow up the asparagus by dabbing my fingertip in the wasabi and soya mix and painting it delicately over Wendy's clit, Jason sits back and adjusts the bulge at his crotch, his eyes bright and hard. “Oh, that's cruel,” he says appreciatively.
Wendy's breath hisses between her clenched teeth as the burn starts. I take a thoughtful sip of my saké as she presses her thighs together, trying to relieve the sensation. There's a dew of sweat at the cusp of her throat and I want to taste it. Soon she's rubbing her thighs against each other, her tits quivering in a breath-taking manner as she wriggles.
Is that hot, honey?” I ask.
Wendy doesn't speak, but she nods rapidly.
“Oh please, Ade,” says Maria suddenly. “Please let me lick it off her.”

Buy Anything for You at:
Amazon US :: Amazon UK 
Google Play

Sunday, 11 December 2016

A Feeling Sorry For Myself post

Marianne Stokes-Preindlsberger: The Young Girl and Death (1900)
I haven't been able to lie down to sleep for a week because I have asthma, and going horizontal makes my lungs stop working. So this pic tickles my fancy :-)

It does look like the Angel of Death is saying, "Nah, don't get up - I just dropped in to see how you were doing." And she is all: "Come on, let's go FFS!"

Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Top Sex Blogger, omg

I had a special birthday gift this year! - I was listed among the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of the Year by Molly's Daily Kiss (click through for the full list). This is after making the 2015 list too!

I'm a bit surprised because I hardly count this as a sex-blog - I think of it as a writing blog with some sex. And art. And silly stuff. But THANK YOU Molly!

Monday, 5 December 2016

Blue Monday: Ashe Barker guests

Every Monday I post a naughty excerpt for your entertainment!

Today's excerpt is from the short story
The Audition, by Ashe Barker. It's one of eleven SF/erotica tales in Love and Lust in Space, edited by Jennifer Denys

They say your screams can’t be heard in space… Unless you have a partner or two! Eleven authors take you on a trip where any pairings are acceptable, locations vary from spaceships to strange and futuristic worlds, and interesting and exciting objects can be used in sex play.

If randy astronauts, virtual reality lovers, sex in near-death situations, a commitment-phobe human woman and her alien lover, and reproduction in space experiments don’t do anything for you, you are clearly not human!

So try the stories in the alien worlds half of the anthology instead. Here you’ll find alien Doms, a mysterious gladiator saving a stricken princess, sex performers, a paid assassin on the run, an illegal sonic dilda’tor and a pleasure booth. Space has never been so exciting!

Love & Lust in Space is edited by Jennifer Denys and features stories by H K Carlton, Dee Maselle, Ian D Smith, Rose Wulf, Jordan Monroe, Ashe Barker, Morgan King, Dylan McEwan, Ella Grey, Jennifer Denys and Beverly Langland.

The Audition:

“Turn around and bend over the bed. Your upper body will rest on the mattress and you will arch your back to raise your bottom for us. You will part your thighs to display your cunt to the best of your ability, but at various times one of us may pull your bottom cheeks apart or open your pussy lips to allow another a better view. We will penetrate both your pussy and your anus, though we will use a lubricant, if required, to ensure your comfort. No one will speak to you during this process, and we will not answer any questions, so if there is anything you need to ask me this is your final opportunity.”

Lucy had started to sob. “Why? Why are you doing this?”

A hand cupped her chin. Lucy assumed it was Thane. “I know you hate what is about to happen to you, but if submission is within your psyche, however latent the desire, it will surface in the next few minutes. Already your nipples are swollen and hard, and I wouldn’t mind betting your pussy is moist, is it not, Lucy?”

She shook her head and tried to back away from him. “No, no... I...”

“We shall see. If that’s all, please bend over the bed and once I tell you we are satisfied with your position you will remain still. Remember the cane, Lucy. You really don’t want us to have to resort to such measures, do you?”


“Then let’s not go there. The bed. Now.”

With a despairing sob, Lucy turned and stepped forward until the edge of the mattress nudged her upper thighs. She bent at the waist and turned her face so her cheek rested on the cool, padded surface. Then she shuffled her feet until they were about eighteen inches apart.

“More, Lucy. We require you to spread your legs much wider than that, please.”

Lucy complied, accepting the inevitability of this degradation. She was helpless, could only accept what was happening to her, and hoped these aliens were telling the truth that she would not be harmed. She screwed up her eyes behind the soft fabric and yearned for the monotonous drudgery of her previous life.

“Arch your back. Yes, that’s good. Now maintain that posture until I instruct you to move. Nod if you understand.”

Lucy bobbed her head once, and gritted her teeth.

The hands that touched her first were cool, and oddly gentle. They caressed her pussy lips before pushing back the delicate folds which concealed her clit. Lucy gasped and tensed as a finger flicked the tip of the sensitive nubbin, then slid along her slit to her entrance. She groaned as it eased inside her.

The digit buried within her cunt remained still as other hands parted her arse cheeks to expose her anus. She concentrated on not wriggling when cool lube dribbled over her tightly puckered hole but couldn’t contain the soft whimper as a finger was worked inside. Whichever male it was stopped, waited for a few seconds, then resumed his questing.

Sensation overwhelmed Lucy. None of the men hurt her, their fingers were gentle as they caressed her sensitive folds or stroked her inner spaces. As she lay motionless and biting on her lower lip a second finger slid inside her pussy alongside the first, then both curled to press on a spot, which seemed to be located right behind her clit. The fingertips applied a firm pressure within which caused her sensitive bud to swell against the relentless stroking and tugging from the outside. Lucy’s pussy contracted hard, the convulsions rolling through her body as the heady stimulation swept away her senses. Her instincts screamed at her to move, to shy away from the intensity of sensation, but the memory of the sound made by that cane held her in place as surely as if she were bound to the bed.

The mattress shifted continuously on either side of her as men sat, then stood, moving about to gain the access they required. The finger was withdrawn from her arse to be replaced by another, then a second.

The sounds of her arousal were unmistakable, her wetness creating the slick contact, which drove her to the brink of orgasm again and again.

Buy Love and Lust in Space at:

Sexy Little Pages
Amazon (ebook)
iTunes (ebook)
Amazon (paperback)

USA Today best selling author Ashe Barker is multi-published and regularly hits the Amazon best seller lists in erotic romance, BDSM and historical. She has been an avid reader of fiction for many years, erotic and other genres. Ashe still loves reading, the hotter the better. But now she has a good excuse for her guilty pleasure - research. 

Amazon UK
Amazon US
Ashe's Website

Friday, 2 December 2016

When I was 49...

That's it, I've officially Brexited my Forties. It's the Big One!
Since every year I take a look back at what I've managed for the first time since my last birthday, here's how I kept things fresh when I was 49:

For the Very First Time:

  • I bought an exercise DVD. (I nearly killed myself for about 3 weeks, then gave up)
  • I obtained a PAC code to move my phone number: TECH-WIZARD AWARD TO ME!
  • I scaled a climbing wall:

"Okay, that was fun, never again"

  • I visited Brittany and the standing stones of Carnac

Merlin's Tomb. For sure.

  • I fell in love with the amazing Machines de l'Ile 
  • I visited Sicily and the Tombs of the Capuchins and walked on an active volcano - in a blizzard!
  • I played Sardines and used a Ouija board, thus completing my 1920s credentials
  • I got my car stranded in the snow (and was rescued by a guy in a Land Rover and a kilt!!!)

I discovered tea with whiskey in it, possibly the greatest medicinal breakthrough of our time:

It's the only thing keeping me alive right now

  • I gave a workshop at Smut By the Sea 2016
  • I watched a movie on IMAX (yes, seriously)
  • I shot an airsoft gun
  • I finally got to see Newgrange in Ireland:

  • I voluntarily held both a chihuahua and a baby (but not at the same time). I was quite taken by the chihuahua, tbh.
  • I visited the John Rylands Library in Manchester for a witchcraft and demonology exhibition
  • I went to the once-in-a-lifetime Hieronymus Bosch 500 Exhibition in the Netherlands
  • I discovered on the same weekend that the wrong sort of smoke makes me paranoid - and I don't mean a bit edgy: I mean "Oh my god I'm having a psychotic break, what if this never stops?!"- rpt ad nauseum for several hours paranoid. Not nice at all.
  • I was contacted by a film-maker interested in adapting one of my books!

What am I looking forward to as I turn 50? The publication of In Bonds of the Earth and The Prison of the Angels, of course! And, most of all, getting rid of this damn cold...