I am not going to review The Magnificent Seven because it's a crap movie and I can't bear to waste my time enumerating its flaws right from (A) its evisceration of all depth and emotion from the originals, through to (Z) Vincent D'Onofrio's worst acting moment EVER: I've seen better rip-offs of Boromir's death scene on a LARP adventure.
Look, it was fluffy entertainment and looked pretty. And these are the pretty bits I really enjoyed:
|You have to admit, actors in westerns are getting better-looking.|
And Chris Pratt gets an honourable mention in passing:
But a big HEY! to Lee Byung-hun as Billy Rocks, the knifeman:
Oh oh oh
|Hell, I might even watch G.I. Joe now|
Strike that - he might be the Most Beautiful Man in the World. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM WITH LONG HAIR?
Okay, that's it - I need a little lie-down now!
Then I'm off to play Deadlands.