Friday, 30 October 2009

Jump or Fall?

This is sweet. Very very sweet. I am absolutely delighted to announce that my short story Jump or Fall?  has been chosen for inclusion in the mega-awesome Violet Blue's forthcoming erotica collection Sweet Love, due out in April 2010 from Cleis Press. A follow-up to her Sweet Life collections, this again is themed around loving couples exploring their wilder fantasies. D'you think that sounds soppy and vanilla? - Uh uh: this is Violet Blue, man! And one of my stories. There's nothing vanilla about Jump or Fall? I promise, though yes the couple are in love. Wildly in love. It's just there's this hair-raising issue standing between them and fulfilment...

Here's the official blurb for the book:
Looking to keep the heat? In Sweet Love, sex educator and bestselling author Violet Blue creates a world of lusty and in-love couples who live out their fantasies with fantastic results. She has an eye for talent and only allows the very best erotica in her anthologies: well written, truly sensual, and always with a sexy surprise. These powerful scenarios are recipes for romance that real couples can read and use as inspiration for memorable and no-holds-barred explorations of their own. The addictive, hot little shorts of this collection will have readers begging for spankings, breathtaking role-playing, exhibitionism, unexpected threesomes, and much, much more. Sweet Love's expertly crafted, explicit stories will really take you there. 

And Violet Blue is going to be guesting on the Oprah show sometime before publication. She may well give it a mention on air. How about that for my brush with fame? I feel giddy!

More details forthcoming as we approach publication...

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

True Blood

Wednesday  is True Blood night! Yay! (No, I don't have Sky or cable. Yes, I am the last person in the world to see this show: currently on Series 1, Episode 4.)

I have confessed already that I got  hooked on this show against my expectations. It really is enormously entertaining: sexy, witty and bloody. But the credits - Oh, I think the credits are inspired. The Deep South is envisioned as a  landscape on a mythic level, to the perfect soundtrack. I don't remember being this horrified and excited by that part of the world since I first read Swamp Thing twenty + years ago.

Mr Ashbless, btw, has been in America for nearly three weeks now training for his new job. So far he has avoided getting shot, arrested for jaywalking, bitten by a vampire or any of that foreign stuff that goes on Over There. Today my parents are arriving to Keep Me Company instead. Oh ... joy.

No work will be done. But I will cling to my blog.

Monday, 26 October 2009

Eyecandy Monday

No naughty bits today, just a wetman. He's wet and lying down because he's been very busy being my muse for one of my vampires in Red Grow the Roses, and he is all worn out, the poor thing.

Talking of which - I've finished another chapter, huzzah! In fact I've finished the Difficult Chapter 13. That was the one I was writing when the kerfuffle over Black Lace came out into the open. Suddenly all the impetus went out off me, with a sad Ffffft noise. This particular chapter, you see, is told by a woman who gets her jollies by being humiliated by a bunch of horny men - and suddenly I was so NOT in the mood for humiliation. To the extent that I did something I almost never do:  I abandoned the chapter and went off to write No. 14 instead. (Which is only about vampires trying to kill each other, so that's all right then.)

Anyway, all back on track now.  Relieved.

Sunday, 25 October 2009


Aren't I mean? Nikki Magennis doesn't like dreads because they remind her of spiders, so here I am posting yet another picture of a ginger lad just for her...

Actually this picture came from a new photo-blog which, thanks to Friskbiskit, I've become a fan of: Sex is Not the Enemy. It's generally a log of pictures rather than text - men, women, gay and straight - but has entertaining sidebars in cartoon strips and quotations. Quite often NSFW, darlings.

And what a great title, eh? I want the T-shirt!

And OMG I can't resist this one:

Friday, 23 October 2009

Hearts and Flowers

Okay, so This Week's Excuse for the fact the wordcount on Red Grow the Roses has barely inched forward is that I've been writing a short story with a Valentine theme. It's getting subbed today.

Unusually for me I chose to write about a couple in an established relationship. I know a lot of writers like to write loving sex between existing couples, but it's not one of my themes ... Maybe because you've got to work harder to establish any drama. (I have to have drama. Descriptions of people just shagging does not do it for me, sorry.) Anyway, this time I tried it and it worked (I think!). But all through the writing process I kept getting these, um, "flashbacks" to how the characters met, and what they thought of each other, and how they got together for the first time. Weird. Can't use any of  that material - there's no room in the wordcount. It's just there, like they are real people with actual histories.

I'm taking it as a good sign.

Oh, that'll be Jung at the door again.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Low-Carb Diet: Week 2 results

It's difficult making tofu look interesting ...

Well, my initial two-week ultra-low carb-cleanse period is up. I've noticed that I've a tendency to get dehydrated (probably because I'm not eating loads of fruit like I used to).  But look:

Total weight loss so far: 7 lbs in 14 days!

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

DVD review: Last Tango in Paris, uncensored version


Quite possibly the most boring film ever made. Yes, even including the scene with the butter.

Long, considered review:

Wallows in all the worst aspects of French cinema. The girl is very attractive (despite having a bush approximately the size of Mirkwood) and you see a fair amount of her standing around naked. Yet still, somehow, quite possibly the most the boring film ever made. People must have been truly starved of porn in those days in order to get their knickers in a twist over this.

Maria Schneider the actress is, by the way, on record as still hating the director of this film for the way he exploited and manipulated her.

Monday, 19 October 2009

Eyecandy Monday - and 300th Post!

Wahay - I've made it to 300 posts - all the way from my very first, back in the days when I was really only using this blog as somewhere to upload pictures for the Lust Bites blog. And now look - I'm posting pictures of cocks and talking about my diet. Ah, the infinite potential of the blogosphere ... squandered, lol!

What have I discovered about blogging over the years? To my surprise, that I am considerably less opinionated than I thought I was. I follow a number of blogs with quasi-political themes (feminist, sexual, atheist) and I enjoy reading them and having my mind stimulated and keeping up with news. But I don't want to join in. I don't want to rant about the injustices of the world: it just hurts too much these day. All I want to do is put up pretty pictures and get excited about my writing.  *sigh*  It's probably a sign of old age.  

And thank you to the very wonderful Lucilla Frost, who sent me a number of pictures [REDACTED] of King Leonidas and Queen Gorgo enjoying healthy marital relations. I do love me my Spartans.

Saturday, 17 October 2009

Heart of Flame update

Phew ... I've finished all the changes and line-edits to my Arabian Nights novel Heart of Flame and given it its final readthrough, and now it's back in the hands of the CatScratch editor. I hope she likes it!

Personally, I love this book. I loved researching it. I loved writing it. I love it on re-reading. It's not full-on erotica just for once (though there is a fair amount of hot vanilla sex) but an adventure-romance. That means my sort of romance - where people get into fights and meet horrible monsters and explore scary desert ruins where ancient gods lurk in the darkness. And fall crazy-in-love while rescuing each other from horrible dooms.  Yummy yummy yummy. And I adore my heroine and hero.  I want to meet  them. I want to have dinner with them. I want to crawl under a table when they start throwing plates at each other...

So don't hold your breath or anything, but Heart of Flame is on its way.

Thursday, 15 October 2009

Low-Carb Diet: Week 1 results

Okay, so I've had a whole week on this Vegetarian Low-Carb Diet, counting the carbs and single-handedly sustaining the entire European cheese industry.

And the results after 7 days?

I weigh 139lb - I've lost 4lbs!

Well. Bugger me.  It does work. And surprisingly fast. Okay, I'm a convert...

I've got another week to go on this very low carb level (20g per day) and after that the idea is that I can start slowly reintroducing carbs until I find the point at which my weight stabilises. Will there be room in my life for a digestive biscuit - Who knows? I think I'll stop blogging daily about it at this point though, because I really haven't that much to report. I was sorta thinking there might be interesting psychotic episodes and hallucinations and stuff, but the nearest I've come to drama is dropping a carton of cream on the kitchen floor last night, which is a bit lame.

I'm losing weight. I love (most of) the food. I'm not hungry. That's all. How great is that?

Low-Carb Diet: Day 7

Today's Menu:

Breakfast:  Peanut smoothie. (Okay. Filling. Doesn't involve frying anything, which is good.)

Lunch: Asparagus, pak-choi and tomato grilled with gruyere cheese.

Dinner: Tofu curry (much better this time - fried not grilled.)

Snack: red fruit jelly (made with fruit teabags, lol!), double cream

Here's a list of the things I've got in my kitchen that I never used before starting this diet:
  • Mayonnaise
  • Tobasco sauce (I like to combine these two, it turns out)
  • Nutritional yeast flakes (sounds awful but actually they taste like toasted cheese and not marmite)
  • Flax seeds
  • Pak-choi
  • Onion salt
  • Mustard powder
  • No-sugar sweetner
  • Soya protein isolate powder (for making shakes with. Makes me look like I've got a serious coke habit, as it gets everywhere)
  • An electric blender
  • Scales that weigh in individual grammes
Tomorrow - the weigh-in!

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

GWA: The League of Red-Headed Men

I like ginger hair on men. I like it so much that I gave my hero Ash in Wildwood hair like this:

This is a bit of a maverick attitude, at least in this country where ginger men are very often regarded as lurking somewhere on the scale of Ugly to Deformed Freaks (Women are generally not castigated for having red hair although there's a surprising amount of vitriol aimed at "the ginger one in Girls Aloud"). But I love hair and I love blokes with dramatic appearances. So I thought I'd post some Purty Pictures of men with red hair today.

Actors Eric Stotlz...

... and Seth Green. Call it heresy but I'd choose Oz over Angel or Spike any day.

This is singer-songwriter Newton Faulkner:

Singer/comedian Tim Minchin:

Illusionist Derren Brown:

Dante Vale, magical superhero (Sorry, bit of a nerd-attack there):

And these guys aren't famous for anything I know about but are still cute:

Last word goes to Tim Minchin and his song about the "G Word". (Which btw I am allowed to use because I'm a genuine redhead too. And I could prove it ... But I'm not going to!)

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Low-Carb Diet: Day 6

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: 3 eggs, scrambled

Lunch: Special Cauliflower cheese (Okay it was worth making after all - delicious), Half a tomato.

Dinner: Parmesan and macademia nut salad (yes, again: because I wanted it).

Snack: Greek yoghurt with flax seeds. (Damn, I've run out of yoghurt.)

The end of Week 1 is in sight. Having resisted the lemon cupcakes present at last night's boardgaming I feel ready to take on anything ... except maybe more bloody washing up. Sheesh! It spontaneously generates itself, I swear; I never actually get down to a clear deck. Why did nobody warn me about this? When it comes to cooking you lose hours of life just to sorting out the kitchen every day.

Monday, 12 October 2009

Low-Carb Diet: Day 5

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: Chocolate protein shake (dull).

Lunch: Devilled eggs (how 1920s! Nicer than I anticipated too). Celery stick. Pecan nuts. Slice of goats' cheese.

Dinner: Half an avocado. Celery and peanut butter.Yoghurt with flax seeds.

I just couldn't do it: I could not face dinner. It was supposed to be cauliflower cheese but I couldn't stomach the idea of a whole plate of hot greasy cheesiness, so I just snacked on cold stuff. I've stopped getting hungry, and that is a very strange feeling. Played the Lord of the Rings Boardgame instead (3 times, didn't win).

Eyecandy Monday

For those of you not much interested in cock - you have not been forgotten!

Woohoo! I reckon my 300th blog post will be coming up next Monday. Who'd have thunk it? And we all know what 300 means, don't we boys and girls? Yes: This ... is ... SPARTA!!!!

Low-Carb Diet: Day 4

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: rhubarb and cream

Lunch: Remains of yesterday's spinach and cheese gratin. Sauted pak-choi.

Snack: 6 green olives.

Dinner: Garlicy tofu in a mushroom cream sauce. (Nomnomnom!! Though mostly because you can only taste the sauce...)

I think this diet must be sponsored by the Cheese Marketing Board. I am spending a fortune on gruyere, brie, creamcheese and goat's cheese. It's a good job I love every little morsel, isn't it?

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Low-Carb Diet: Day 3

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: 3-egg omelette (mushrooms and goats' cheese)

Lunch: Parmesan and macadamia nut salad. Greek yoghurt with flax seeds.

Dinner: Spinach and cream cheese gratin. Half a tomato. Half an avacado because I couldn't bear to see it sit in the fridge going black. Aargh - must learn to throw food away!

Feeling a bit of a chemical buzz. Weird. Had to force myself to eat breakfast as my appetite seems to have declined in the face of all this fatty goodness, and I can't remember ever not wanting breakfast before in my life. Lunch was yummy - will keep that recipe.

Have frozen my bananas.

My Life in Tetris

Recently I've been playing Tetris. Yes, I know - it's 25 years since it came out and everyone else got hooked. I never claimed to be ahead of the trends!

Tetris is a good metaphor for my life right now. (Maybe it's a good one for everyone?) These random odd shapes fall into your life and you've got to try and fit them together in a way that makes sense before you become overwhelmed. Every so often things speed up and you panic. With luck and experience and focus you can just about keep things maneagable but you're never really in control. And you never really win...

These last few months we've had some odd-shaped blocks thrown at us with increasing speed. On Monday Mr Ashbless starts his new job, which means we've been running round trying to prepare for it and catch up on all the jobs we needed to get out of the way - like emptying the attic. Our life as a couple is about to change radically, and I'm just hoping we can cope with the new pattern.

Now that things are about to go quiet, I really do need to get back on with my real work. I've got so much writing to do...
  • Corrections and rewrites for my e-novel Heart of Flame to go to CatScratch Press.(The editor called me a Saint! I don't feel very saintly, believe me.)
  • Finish vampire novel Red Grow the Roses.
  • Prepare subs and go look for an agent. I can't put it off any longer. 
  • There's a new paperback Cthulhu-mythos anthology gone and put a call out that I desperately want to sub for.
  • I've got to sort out the miriad files of all my existing fiction that we managed to rescue from floppy disks. Yes, floppies! I'm not totally sure I still have an electronic copy of Cruel Enchantment -which is very very bad...
  • I've got a 10K erotic story that really ought to go looking for an e-publisher.
  • And then I can think about writing some new short stories for anthologies.
  • And in the distant future, a new book...

Oh my.

Friday, 9 October 2009

Low-Carb Diet: Day 2

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: Greek yoghurt with linseeds. Almonds.

Lunch: Remains of yesterday's Asparagus Quiche, salad with viniagrette. Protein shake.

Dinner: Tandoori tofu. Sauted greens. Half a tomato. Tinned rhubarb with double cream.

I've been expecting carb withdrawal symptoms like headaches, since the book is full of warnings about the first couple of days. But so far, nothing.

Linseeds (flax) are pleasant enough, it turns out: mild and quite oily. But yoghurt isn't enough to keep me going until midday - I had to eat lunch at 11am. The quiche recipe is fantastic, but the tandoori tofu was dull.  I only really like tofu if it's fried I think. Hey, it took me years to become that tolerant of the rubbery stuff!

What am I going to do with my remaining bananas? They are Forbidden Fruit. Throwing food out makes me cringe: I was brought up in a house where we were always leaned on to clear all our plates. "Oh, someone finish this off - I can't keep it!" we'd be told. Which explains a lot about my goddamn weight struggles as an adult, frankly...

Thursday, 8 October 2009

Low-Carb Diet: Day 1

Today I started a diet and I thought I'd log it here because, well, I've gotta vent steam somewhere.  I'm on Rose Elliot's Vegetarian Low-Carb Diet, which is basically a veggie version of Atkins. The idea is to drop the carbs, lift the protein, and eat pretty much as much fat as you want. It could be called "the egg,cheese and tofu diet," frankly. It involves a lot of reading food labels and totting up carb counts.

So from now on no bread, pasta, potatoes, sugar and - sadly - no beans or lentils.  It's the most counter-intuitive thing you can imagine, which is intriguing in itself. Like, I can have butter but no toast, mayonnaise but no fries, and I've got to switch from skimmed milk in my coffee to double cream. All in aid of losing the blubber!

I've got no idea whether this is going to work, or whether I'll just suffer a huge suger-crash and end up slaughtering the neighbours with an axe and stealing their cookies. But I'm more likely to stick to the rules if I have to confess here.

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs (3) with butter and cream. Veggie sausage. Half a tomato.

Lunch: Goats' cheese and pecan-nut salad.
Dinner: Crustless asparagus quiche. Sauted greens.
Snack: Half an avocado.

Are you getting the picture? The food's lovely, but very rich and fatty. I've eaten 4.5 eggs today and am thinking I may not go to the toilet for a week. There's a lot of washing up generated - a concept new to this microwave-meal fan. Jeez, how do you get baked egg off  a pan?

Still, obsessing over the Green Book of The Law keeps my mind off all the other stuff going on this week...

Starting weight: 143lbs

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Once a Knight just isn't enough...

Desperate Romantics is out on DVD! - that's my Xmas present sorted. I can spend many a happy hour watching Aidan Turner in shagging action. I mean ... relishing the witty and educational dramatisation of the lives of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood.

Bondage picture The Knight Errant above is by John Everett Millais. My, that's a big birch ...

You've got to wonder how she ended up in that situation, haven't you. Uh-oh .... story coming on!

Monday, 5 October 2009

Eyecandy Monday

Following on the theme of my m/m story Michelangelo's Men (below) ...

Sunday, 4 October 2009

Michelangelo's Men - an excerpt

It's Sunday. (I thought it was Monday. I set the alarm for 6.30am. Jeez, I'm still jet-lagged from staying up all Friday night). It's definitely Sunday. So here's the excerpt  I promised from my short story Michelangelo's Men, now to be found worldwide in the anthology Sexy Little Numbers: best women's erotica from Black Lace. Now pass the coffee, please.

The plot: Danielle has a thing for watching men have sex together. On her birthday she lures her boyfriend Mike - who is straight and just a bit naive about the sort of things his girlfriend is in to - back to the flat she shares with her tattooed gay friend Trent...

Mike tries to disguise the disappointed downturn of his mouth and sits back on the sofa while I pour bourbon into three glasses. Trent parks himself in the armchair facing us and sets his tin of rolling tobacco out on the low table, his attention focused on skinning up the first of a series of stingily thin cigarettes. I pass a full glass in his direction and he nods.

But I don’t hand Mike his. Instead, taking one in hand, I climb onto the sofa and sit astride his thighs, looking down on him with a smoky smile while Mike’s eyes widen questioningly. Taking a sip of the whiskey I stoop to kiss his lips and the dark liquid passes from my mouth to his. Our tongues lap cautiously, then deeper. There’s no hurry, no urgency, just a savouring of the layered tastes of the bourbon and each other. I slip my hand into Mike’s lap and find that it’s still there, his semi, still restless and eager for my touch. We laugh together, silent and private. Mike slides his hands up my legs, unable to resist my spread thighs, and I’m not surprised – I’m wearing this ridiculously provocative outfit: black fishnet stockings and a blue faux-snakeskin miniskirt. His thumbs find the gap of silky flesh between stockings and knickers and caress my innermost thighs, easing up toward my gauze-clad pussy. I squirm against him and moan in my throat, nipping at his lips. I feel his cock surge, protesting at the confines of his trousers. Soon I’m absolutely sure it’s a full-on erection, and his hands are, under the very inadequate cover of my skirt, making incursions under the edges of my panties in a manner that makes me gasp. And every time I gasp, he twitches with arousal.
‛Come on, love,’ he says under his breath. ‛Let’s go.’

I slide sideways off his lap onto the cushion, one fishnet thigh still draped over him, and look over my shoulder at Trent, who is drawing with satisfaction the first lungfuls of tobacco. ‛Mike’s after a blow job.’

‛On your birthday?’ His brow puckers. ‛Shouldn’t it be your turn?’

Mike seems dazed by the unexpected interruption to events, but he’s adaptable. He swallows hard.

‛Oh, I like sucking him off. He’s got a lovely cock.’ I squeeze the member in question, finding it rock solid still. ‛I could suck it all night.’

‛Or at least until you get bored.’ The quirk of Trent’s lips is patronising.

‛Hey, you: I’m really good at it!’

‛Yeah, right.’ His tone is unmistakably derisive.

‛She could wake the dead,’ says Mike in a hoarse voice, and I feel my heart warm: he’s coming to my defence. But this time Trent actually snorts.

‛What?’ demands Mike.

‛Women don’t give proper head. They don’t know what they’re doing with a dick: it stands to reason. You want a really great blow job, you need a man.’

‛Like you know what women can do, mate?’

‛I’ve given it a couple of tries, a few years back.’

‛But not with Dani.’ Mike is pugnacious.


‛Then you don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Trent exhales a long cloud of smoke, his eyes narrowing wickedly. ‛Show me then.’


His eyes flick to me, glinting. ‛Show me. Reckon you can eat his meat good enough to make me eat my words?’

I straighten my back, thrusting my tits and my lower lip out. ‛Hell yeah.’

Mike grins, not quite certain where all this came from but appreciating the novelty. He’s sort of aware that this is crossing a boundary he’s never previously approached, but he’s a bit punch-drunk from the sensory overload at the club and he’s stand-up horny from my teasing, and the caresses I’m still lavishing on his shaft are stopping him thinking clearly. He even helps by uncinching his belt as I set my glass aside. ‛She’s going to make your eyes water, mate,’ he promises. He’s being possessive; he thinks it’s us as a couple against the gay bloke.

Poor unimaginative Mike.

His cock is straining the seams of his fly as I get started and the teeth part with a staccato purr. Out pops Mike’s cock, hot and eager and flushed dark, his foreskin already being shouldered aside by his swelling glans. God, I love the way cocks stand up like that, so uncompromising and unambiguous. There’s nothing half-hearted about an erection. Nothing that says ‛Well, I’m not really bothered but...’  It’s a demand made physically incarnate.

Trent brings his drink and his smoke and comes to sit on the near edge of the coffee table so that he can get a good view. I flash him a conspiratorial look before I crouch down on the sofa and take that great big meaty length in my mouth, sliding it all the way to the back of my throat and bathing it in the taste of sour-mash spirit. Mike lets out a little grunt and shifts his position, getting a good angle as he lays his hand on the back of my head. I’m aware at the very periphery of my vision of Trent taking a drag on his cigarette and rubbing his knuckle over an itch in his nose, coolly appraising of my performance. So I give him one, though it’s all supposed to be for Mike’s benefit. I make sure there’s plenty of visible tongue and lots of movement, my head bobbing up and down as I suck that cock as far down my throat as it’ll go. I make sure there’s audible sucking and little grunts of erotic shock as it pushes to its limit in my throat’s sheathe. I can’t really take him all the way, he’s too long for that, but I can have a good go. Mike’s certainly moved by my efforts: after a few minutes he pushes his jeans down from his hips to expose himself further, releasing his scrotum into view. A big, furry ball-sac matches his big exuberant cock. I take it in my hand, playing with his nuts through the tightening skin.

I know Mike. I know all his little tells – the catch in his breath, the sudden surge of sweat to the skin of his crotch, the ooze of clear lube from the slit of his cock – well enough to be sure that he’s reached the Zone, that he’s no longer conscious of anything but the need to orgasm. That’s when I stop, lifting my open lips from his cock, washing its crown only in my hot wet breath. It twitches with frustration.

‛Not bad,’ says Trent softly. ‛Want something to compare it to?’

Buy at Amazon US: Buy at Amazon UK

P.S: you can see more (a lot more!) of my muse for Trent if you type "Logan McCree" into your search-engine, with the content filter switched off.

Friday, 2 October 2009

This is not just cellulite...

Okay, I've come to the conclusion that nowhere on earth do you look uglier than in a Marks & Spencer's changing room. It's like the opposite of beer goggles. At home, see, if I look at my body in the mirror I  generally think: "Well ... Okay, considering."  In a M&S changing room, in front of all those multi-angled mirrors  - I look like Lardzilla. My gut hangs like a wet sack, my grey thighs bulge like sausages full of badly-minced dead pig, and I can see every individual cellulite cell. How do they do this? Do they use special Evil Lighting? And if so - WHY?

(Having said that, I will grudgingly forgive them. They have invented the Control Thong, which is - wait for it - a full elasticated panel at the front to hold in said sack-like tum, and a thong at the back so your bum still sticks out and wobbles. Genius! And in my case perfect for Victorian dress-up.)